BlytheBlog: September 2006

Thank you to new father Christian Long, the Blogger King, for the following "Most appropriate Blog of My Life to Date" Blog...

The Myth of Sleep

Bed_1They all tell you the same thing: "Get as much sleep as you can. Seriously..."

(You might be hearing me laughing a bit at this, but I'll get back to it in a few sentences)

As a new parent-to-be, you quickly realize the tsunami of joy and good intentions that come your way from everyone in your network and a few strangers on the street as well. I wouldn't trade it for the world. Truly a blessing of infinite terms. Along the way, however, you get what I call the "wisdom reminders" that manage to both cause you to smile that 'oh-my' smile and to cringe in a 'why-are-you-telling-me-that?' way. Apparently the price-of-admission as a new parent-to-be.

2 "wisdom reminders" -- above all others -- are uttered over and over to Karla and I:

* "Go to as many movies as you can before the kid comes. You'll never see another inside of a movie theater and go on a date until the year 2018, unless it involves the latest Teletubbies movie and a visit to Chucky Cheese." An exaggeration? You'd never know it by the look on their faces; half grin, half despair in memory form. Ok. So Karla and I headed out to see Will Ferrel's latest film -- go NASCAR -- and that silly pirate film that helped Hollywood score big yet again. Check.
* "Get as much sleep as you can now. Seriously. Sleeeeeeeeeep!" And this is where my thoughts are today: there is a myth about sleep that absolutely amazes me. Once, as young college student enduring my fraternity's "Hell Week" at the end of pledgeship. The second time is here in the final weeks of Karla's pregnancy.

Sleep has, in a few words, changed everything in our life.

In the past, Karla slept like a mummy laying on her back, not moving for 8 straight hours, in a remarkable state of peace. Me, I slept in 90 positions, constantly changing, moving around like I was breakdancing, but sleeping like a zombie nonetheless and not waking up ever in the middle of the night. Today? Karla can no longer sleep on her back and has had to learn to become one with her pizza-wedge pillow called the Boppie or something, and on a good night manages to sleep 2 hours at a stretch before her body wakes her up to either go the bathroom or because of gut-wrenching charlie horse cramps in her calves. It is fixable, but one of the worst things I experience is watching her lurch out of sleep in absolute pain and for 2-3 minutes there is nothing we can do but my trying to rub the cramps out before she can go back to sleep for another hour. Seems so ironic that her body does this to her. A normally 'pet peeve' sort of thing; but to a pregnant woman in her final 2 weeks in the hot Texas August nights who shows up to be a Principal every morning, a charlie horse quickly escalates into something nearly earth-shattering at 3am.

While I cannot compete with the lack of sleep Karla has already begun to experience, I have changed dramatically in terms of 'hearing' the subtle sounds of her waking. She gets up more often than I know -- still a zombie at times -- but the 'whimper' I hear as she's beginning to come into a conscious state, the 'whimper' that speaks only a hint of the charlie horse pain that is about to take her over, the 'whimper' that breaks my heart but simultaneously allows me to wake up in a flash...and do whatever I can to help her get rid of the pain and get back to sleep. But I've also noticed that waking up due to a subtle sound is getting easier. Preparation for Beckett-to-Be, I suppose.

I'd give anything to take away the pregnancy pains that Karla has endeared for so many weeks/months now. There are NO shortcuts for pregnant women, I've learned from a far. I am in awe of what she does. Not just the big things. No. In the tiny moments between the moments. The ones that come with zero planning. The ones you just have to accept. And I am humbled by how well she's handling it, and how hard each night of sleep -- in particular -- is for her. Even with only 10 days left, I'm amazed that she'll make it on the little sleep she'll get between now and then! Just amazed!

And back to the "myth of sleep" -- "Get as much a sleep as you can now. Seriously..." -- By far the most silly thing I've ever heard. As Robyn, a friend of ours who is about to give birth to her first in a few weeks as well, said to me 2 days ago on the phone: "It's not that I don't want to sleep. I can't. My body won't let me. So why do they tell me to get as much sleep as I can now? Don't they realize that it's the ONLY thing I want?!"